Brodigan - February 27, 2022 at 07:01AM
One would imagine it must be embarrassing if you go to invade a country and that country laughs at you--you, with your camouflage and a big gun, finding yourself with women calling you pinko biyatch to your face. This Russian tank running out of gas on the way to the invasion was emasculating enough. Then a dude they were trying to invade pulled up next to them.
Allegedly, of course. I'm relying on TMZ for the translation here:
UKRAINE DUDE: You guys broke down?
SOLDIER: What?
UKRAINE DUDE: You broke down? Maybe you need a tow back to Russia. Do you know where you're headed?
SOLDIER: No.
UKRAINE DUDE Well you're headed toward Kyiv.
SOLDIER: What are people saying?
UKRAINE DUDE: Everything is going our way. Your side is surrendering well because none of your guys know where they're headed. I asked a whole caravan of guys like you, and none of you know where you're headed. Some of your comrades have already been surrendering to deez.
SOLDIER: What's deez?
UKRAINE DUDE: Deez nuts, you commie bitch.
Ok, so I threw in the deez nuts joke myself. But the rest is from TMZ's translation. Also, how does a tank run out of gas? Rule#1 of going on a road trip is keeping an eye on fuel. It's right up with the person riding shotgun deciding what music you're bumpin' to on the journey. They must have been too busy rocking out to Gorky Park classics from the 80s, so they weren't paying attention.
It's beginning to feel like invading Ukraine isn't working out for Russia the way they were expecting. That must be embarrassing, as well.
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