Thursday, January 28, 2021

A Normal Person Tried Explaining the Stock Market and She's Amazing

A Normal Person Tried Explaining the Stock Market and She's Amazing
Courtney Kirchoff - January 28, 2021 at 02:24PM


There I was scrolling through Twitter, pretending I was smart about the stock market, when I came across this video and thought "Oh good, someone who can speak to me like I'm four." But when I clicked play, rather than getting a primer on all things shorting a stock, I got two busted ribs and a computer monitor caked with my spittle.

I've watched this four times. Because of this video, my ab muscles are more defined than a CrossFit Games' athlete. If you didn't find this funny, we cannot be friends. Hard stop into full reverse as I back the truck over you with the beep beep noises. I don't even care this woman puts her pronouns in her Twitter bio, I want her in my life. If for no other reason than to Facetime call her when I have a question about where babies come from or how taxes are filed.

Even Elon Musk replied to her video. Elon. Musk.

If you're not thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail then why are you even here? Get educated.

Listen, there are primers out there on how to understand the GameStop, AMC, Robinhood, hedge funder tantrums. Watching Billions or The Big Short probably will not help you, I've tried. I'm still looking for the Understanding Shorts pop-up book I can peruse while sipping milk from a carton. Maybe one day short selling will click for me. Maybe one day I won't look at this story with the same face I take on while searching for a tiny splinter in my hand, while dark. But today is not that day. So for me, and maybe for you, it's Avalon Penrose to the rescue.

from Steven Crowder Says