We've been Kristi Noem stans for close to a year now. While her peers were demanding more better lockdowns, South Dakota's smokeshow of a governor stood athwart history, yelling "Nah, screw that." A star was born. Just minus Lady Gaga selling out while Bradley Cooper drinks himself to death.
We've swooned over speeches and appearances on the campaign trail. This media hit is one that every conservative or conservative-adjacent person with an (R-State) after their last name needs to hear. Messaging is important. Speeches are fun. But eventually, you have to actually do something.
There has been a rise in day trading since the start of the pandemic. People were stuck at home in front of computers anyway. Why not buy stocks? Leading the charge was Barstool President Dave Portnoy. There's an argument to be made that his Davey Day Trader schtick helped encourage average people to trade and invest themselves. Portnoy viewed it as gambling. Bet responsibly only using money you can afford to lose. If you win, great. If not, better luck next time.
What he discovered this week, with GameStop and Reddit and WallStreetBets, is just how "gamed" the system allegedly is. Betting on sports, you either win or lose. Even betting with Joey Numbers and the jukebox boys, you know what the rules are. Going against hedge funds, or the "suits"? They'll change the rules on you. By the time you realize it, you lost your money while they made theirs back. Well, El Pres is pissed. And "the suits" now have a mortal enemy.
When I saw what Robinhood was doing -- ironically Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor even though they do the exact opposite -- I was stunned. I think it's criminal. I think there has to be an investigation. I think people have to go to jail.
Whether this is bluster or he can actually change things, that remains to be seen. I know I've said this mostly sarcastically in the past. But when you see who is advising the White House on the matter, in this instance, Portnoy may actually be the only president who matters.
Fewer politicians exemplify "rules for thee but not for me" more than Nancy Pelosi. Yes, that's a matter of opinion. One I'm sure the people working at Facebook who decide if you get to see this post will disagree with. If you look at GetYourHairDidGate alone, where the speaker of the House attacked a struggling small business owner, I feel my opinion is sufficiently validated.
There's also now the question of Pelosi's finances. I of course am not making any claims on my own. I'm merely sharing some blurbs from a Yahoo Finance article I found interesting. These are words written by an unbiased financial reporter. Now if YOU read further and wonder how Nancy Pelosi would respond if this involved someone who wasn't Nancy Pelosi, that's a decision for YOU to make. I would never tell you to do that.
Speaker of the House and California Rep. Nancy Pelosi purchased 25 call options of Tesla Inc. The purchases could have been done by Pelosi or her husband Paul, who runs a venture capital firm. Tesla shares have risen from $640.34 at the time the calls were purchased to over $890 today. The call options were valued at $1.12 million as of Monday.
Interesting. Totally unrelated, President Biden signed a bunch of executive orders shortly after. EOs that, theoretically, could affect Nancy Pelosi's (or Mr. Nancy Pelosi's) finances.
Biden's push for electric vehicles, which could include lifting the cap on sales, would give buyers tax credits again and is advantageous for Tesla. The president has also suggested a possible cash-for-clunkers program that could incentivize customers for trading in used vehicles towards the purchase of an electric vehicle.
It will now be Nancy Pelosi's job to push legislation that supports the President's clean energy agenda. Legislation that Nancy Pelosi, allegedly, can make a lot of money off of. Much more than a bunch of Reddit bros made off of GameStop stock. At least maybe, allegedly, in theory.
Rhetorical exit question: Does this sound like a conflict of interest to you?
Biden's Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen — the first female to hold the position EVAH — made a buttload of money speaking to Wall Street firms. Like, to the tune of seven million dollars. $800K of it came from Citadel, the hedge fund at the center of the GameStop/Reddit/WallStreetBets brouhaha. Which, if you're still confused about, this is the best explainer I've seen. Yellen's current job is to advise President Biden on how to handle the GameStop situation. Which involves a Wall Street firm that paid her a lot of money.
Could that possibly be a conflict of interest? Press secretary Jen Psaki says, "Meh."
On June 7th, 1789, the night before James Madison proposed the Bill of Rights before the House of Representatives, he sat down to pen the first draft. In 2015, Steven Crowder captured how James Madison would have had to write the second Amendment to match the progressive left's interepretation. Watch the video for more.
"Louder with Crowder" returns with all new shows on Feb. 1. Stay tuned...
The First Amendment has been under attack for years. In 2015, Crowder released a parody called, "The First Amendment: Liberal Edition." In this parody, Crowder illustrated how the first draft of the Bill of Rights would have read if written by a liberal James Madison.
In the video, Crowder's interpretation of a liberal Madison wrote, "The First Amendment guarantees freedoms concerning religion, expression, assembly, and the right to petition. It guarantees freedom of expression by prohibiting Congress from restricting the press or the rights of individuals to speak freely. Unless, like, people say something you really disagree with."
Watch the video for more.
"Louder with Crowder" returns with all new shows on Feb. 1. Stay tuned...
There I was scrolling through Twitter, pretending I was smart about the stock market, when I came across this video and thought "Oh good, someone who can speak to me like I'm four." But when I clicked play, rather than getting a primer on all things shorting a stock, I got two busted ribs and a computer monitor caked with my spittle.
a normal person explains what’s happening on the stock market: https://t.co/zKKvULCirX
I've watched this four times. Because of this video, my ab muscles are more defined than a CrossFit Games' athlete. If you didn't find this funny, we cannot be friends. Hard stop into full reverse as I back the truck over you with the beep beep noises. I don't even care this woman puts her pronouns in her Twitter bio, I want her in my life. If for no other reason than to Facetime call her when I have a question about where babies come from or how taxes are filed.
Even Elon Musk replied to her video. Elon. Musk.
@avalonpenrose A hedge fund that shorts is a shrubbery
If you're not thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail then why are you even here? Get educated.
Listen, there are primers out there on how to understand the GameStop, AMC, Robinhood, hedge funder tantrums. Watching Billions or The Big Short probably will not help you, I've tried. I'm still looking for the Understanding Shorts pop-up book I can peruse while sipping milk from a carton. Maybe one day short selling will click for me. Maybe one day I won't look at this story with the same face I take on while searching for a tiny splinter in my hand, while dark. But today is not that day. So for me, and maybe for you, it's Avalon Penrose to the rescue.
If figuring out the Wall Street/Reddit/GameStop brouhaha is giving you a headache, I share my migraine with you. Here's an in-depth explainer. To summarize, the lockdowns have led to an increase in people's day trading stocks. It's what El Presidente has been doing. Many chose a company called Robinhood as their broker, which marketed itself as the trading app for the people. That's an important detail.
These day traders discovered a thing called "shorting." It's where hedge fund managers bet against companies and make a profit off of doing so. One hedge fund manager "shorted" GameStop, angering people on Reddit. So the Reddit traders started buying up GameStop stock and caused it to more than double in a day. Regular folks were making millions, but hedge fund managers were losing money. Of course, the hedge fund managers needed to be bailed out. Banks and firms prevented THE CUSTOMERS OF THEIR PRODUCT from using the product to buy GameStop stock. Including -- wait for it -- Robinhood.
Still with me? Because things have gone so stoonad, Congresswoman AOC is starting to make sense.
This is unacceptable.
We now need to know more about @RobinhoodApp's decision to block retail investors from purchasing stock while hedge funds are freely able to trade the stock as they see fit.
If you find yourself questioning your sanity, imagine how Ted Cruz feels. Up is down. Red is blue. Cats and dogs are gaming together. And Senator Ted Cruz agrees with Rep. AOC.
It's good to see two people from opposite sides of the aisle agree on the problem. Or, at least WAS for about a few seconds before Rep. AOC did a Rep. AOC thing.
I am happy to work with Republicans on this issue where there's common ground, but you almost had me murdered 3 weeks ago so you can sit this one out.
Happy to work w/ almost any other GOP that aren't trying to get me killed.
Most of our elected officials agree on problems. The disagreeing on solutions is where we run into issues. I think most people can agree that the playing field should be level. Reddit trolls should be allowed to play by the same rules as hedge funds. A reasonable solution is to simply let them. If you manage a fund and got outsmarted by some randos with fake names on the internet, sucks to be you. Have fun explaining it to your clients. The problem is that when people like Rep. AOC want to get involved, their plans usually involve over-regulating the issue. That winds up screwing everybody outside of the politicians who call for the over-regulations.
Stay angry at the hedge funds and apps like Robinhood. They've earned it. Just don't let yourself get so angry you find yourself supporting horrible ideas to "fix" the problem.
This gentleman alleges that he just lost his job due to at least one of Joe Biden's executive orders. I say allegedly because I'm not sure who he is as much as his video is going viral. It tracks with other videos of people claiming they lost jobs due to Biden. I suppose it's possible he's just a very good actor. I'll let YOU decide for yourself as I work ever so hard to keep this mostly Facebook compliant. I will say this. IF what this man said is true and IF he lost his job among (allegedly) thousands of others due to Biden's executive orders, this won't be the only video that goes viral.
Nothing to see here, just Black Lives Mattering. @JoeBiden if I didn't think you were too senile to read, I'd tell you what I really think of you. pic.twitter.com/tjOPiiGMN9
— Nicole Arbour (@NicoleArbour) January 28, 2021
I shouldn't have to explain that a man lashing out in anger doesn't mean he's making a serious accusation about the election. But again, Facebook.
I also get the sentiment of sitting back, laughing, and saying this is what people voted for. I'm with you there. This man doesn't sound like he voted for Biden though. The people who did vote Biden, however, owe people like this man an explanation. I just hope his response to them telling him to "learn to code" goes viral as well.
There needs to be an investigation into when exactly the animal rights organization PETA was taken over by 4Chan trolls. We say that the left has grown beyond parody and destroyed satire like it's an energy sector job. PETA really puts that theory to the test. No self-respecting activist can pull some of these stunts and honestly think they're helping their cause. Let's not forget the music video wearing veggies as penile enhancements.
Their new campaign is to demand people stop using words that insult, demean, or otherwise "other" animals.
Words can create a more inclusive world, or perpetuate oppression.
Calling someone an animal as an insult reinforces the myth that humans are superior to other animals & justified in violating them.
Words can create a more inclusive world, or perpetuate oppression.
That's debatable. There are some who feel that words are weapons. There are others who believe that they're rubber and you're glue.
Calling someone an animal as an insult reinforces the myth that humans are superior to other animals & justified in violating them.
Let's overlook PETA talking about violating animals. That's just a sloth joke. The truth of the matter is, while humans are superior to animals in most ways, animals still have the edge in others. Humans are superior at raising families, keeping the economy running, and being productive members of a community. Animals are superior at being delicious.
Stand up for justice by rejecting supremacist language.
I see someone got Leftist Douche Word of the Day Toilet Paper for Christmas. That, or they have a lottery ball machine in the office. Each ball has a different buzz word on it. Today's pick three are "justice," "supremacist," and "-ism." Just call anyone who uses animal insults a racist. It's what you wanna do. Quit being such a chicken about it. Unless you want me to put this jerk-skin boot up your donkey. Get it? Because another word for donkey is "ass" and it's not fair that PETA gets to have all the wordplay fun. I'm just trying to turn coward-sh*t into coward salad.
PETA tweets things like this because they think it'll make you think. All it makes me think is what silly people they all are.
Wednesday was Environmental Climate Justice Liberty Freedom day at the White House. No, not really. Calm your tits, Facebook "fact" checkers. I was employing a literary technique known as "snark." However, President Biden did spend the day executive-ordering his climate agenda into place. An agenda that has already cost thousands of people their jobs. With more job loss allegedly on the way. Higher taxes too. But don't you panic! Biden's climate grand poobah John Kerry says everyone can just find new jobs.
The American people are, at least in theory, being expected to make many a sacrifice for Biden and the private plane-owning Kerry's agenda. A reporter asked about it. Here's how the President of the United States responded.
Joe Biden has been executive-ordering away the previous four years as best he can. Some might argue executive-ordering thousands of jobs away in the process. What's fascinating is that I recall Donald Trump signing a few executive orders in his day. When Trump did it, it reeked of being a little dictatory in the eyes of his opponents. One of those opponents? Joe Biden.
.@JoeBiden in October: “I have this strange notion, we are a democracy … if you can't get the votes … you can't [legislate] by executive order unless you're a dictator. We're a democracy. We need consensus." pic.twitter.com/7UotJCXSm3
— Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) January 26, 2021
Hey, I found an area of agreement with Joe Biden. Now, let's take a look at the scoreboard.
.@JoeBiden Then: "I gotta get the votes...you can't do by Executive Order unless you're a dictator. We're a democracy."
I'm not an idiot. I know the game. I get the hustle. Politics is increasingly governed by the tit-for-tat article of the Constitution. Executive orders are the dopeness when you agree with the person signing the executive order. For four years, any time the media attacked Trump for signing one, we all pointed out all the times the media ignored Obama signing them. Just like the media are currently ignoring their own past attacks on Trump while they look the other way for Biden. Fine. I could make arguments about checks and balances and the way legislating is supposed to be. But not only has the toothpaste been squeezed out of that tube, it's also all over the vanity. The bathroom mirror too. Biden wrote the word "poop" in it.
I'm just going to laugh in four years when a Republican president signs away all of Joe's EOs. Thirty-seven in a week? Those are rookie numbers.
In March 2020, schools shut down along with the rest of the country. Students had to switch to remote learning. Parents had to suddenly figure out how to juggle supporting their families while suddenly being homeschoolers. Some schools still haven't gone back to in-person learning. How much you want to blame the teachers' unions for that, I'll let you decide that on your own. Perhaps this dance number will help.
Loudon County in Virginia appears to be one of those districts still closed, with no real answers for parents. This father, if I were to guess, speaks for many.
As a parent, this pandemic has brought forth some incredible challenges.
This dad has had enough, we all have. No real metrics to safely open the schools, while the SB continues to kick the can further down the road. Many parents feel just as he does. #LCPS#openschoolspic.twitter.com/Oa1GxNMzsp
— Aliscia Andrews (@alisciaandrews) January 26, 2021
This is an opinion someone shared on Twitter. I am unable to verify at the current moment if this is true or not. But if I were to make an educated guess ...
Biden sides with teachers unions rather than the children of fathers and mothers like this man https://t.co/t7R004YrCQ
— Branson Taylor (@Btaylor74) January 27, 2021
I'm not a parent, but I'm friends with many who are. People who are in better situations than it sounds like this father is, yet I still see how much they're struggling. Parents like this man deserve actual answers and not catchphrases and hashtags.
I would never say that you shouldn't wear a mask, per CDC guidelines. Particularly during the first 100 days of the Biden administration. We're all in this together and hashtag a bunch of other things. Okay? Okay.
It feels like there is no joke you can make about masks that someone won't take seriously. First, we were told not to wear masks. Then, we were told we must wear a mask. Wearing a mask was the only way to keep us safe. Covering your mouth with fabric is the highest form of patriotism. People joked if one mask is safe, why not wear two? Anthony Fauci ruined the gag, saying that's a great idea. Then people joked, why not three? There was a screen capture from CNBC floating around Twitter on Tuesday saying three masks are better. An obvious joke. Someone on the interwebs was making a funny. There's is no possible way that ... oh my God, it's real.
Here's the full CNBC report from former Fox News host Shep Smith and former CBS/MSNBC/NBC correspondent and host Contessa Brewer about the greatness of not just double-masking, but triple-masking.
Can we say this is absurd? Because it feels like we should be at a place where we can call this absurd and not be deplatformed for it. We've seen many a meltdown over someone not wearing a single mask in public. I can't wait for the videos of crazy people wildin' out because you're ONLY wearing a single mask.
Also, I'm no scientist or an expert, but I was under the impression that wearing a single mask was the most effective way to prevent yourself from catching COVID. Yet according to CNBC, wearing THREE masks is only 90% effective. Wearing two, which was supposed to be an F'N JOKE, is only 75% effective. Wearing just one mask is ... only 60% effective? How many masks am I expected to wear to be 100% safe from the 'rona? While still being able to communicate with fellow sentient lifeforms? Though if you're someone who wears more than one mask, you are most likely someone I don't care to speak to.
It is said that the left is beyond parody. The video you are about to watch illustrates that better than any that has come before it. Since the beginning of the pandemic, the teachers' unions have used it as an excuse to figuratively hold parents and students hostage. Emphasis on figuratively. Lest anyone from Facebook think I'm implying the unions have literally kidnapped parents and are releasing videos of them holding up today's newspaper. But SOME unions have been refusing to go back to in-person teaching until their demands are met.
Like in Chicago. Teachers voted NOT to resume in-person teaching, as was planned prior to Joe Biden's inauguration. Yes, the same Joe Biden who stans the teachers' unions. Why did they change their minds? What are their issues? Let members of the union explain through this interpretive dance. No, seriously.
Six of our rank-and-file dance teachers come together to use their art form as a voice to express their desire to feel safe amidst CPS' teacher return policy. They stand in solidarity with all educators at risk, because no one should have to choose between life and livelihood. pic.twitter.com/gajXH9PReE
— ChicagoTeachersUnion (@CTULocal1) January 23, 2021
Tom Brady is heading to his tenth SuperBowl. If I were to make a single mortal lock bet, it would be that for the next two weeks, there will be almost as much talk about him being a Trump supporter as there will about whether he has a plan for the Kansas City Chiefs' defense. Politics over the past twelve years or so has crept into all aspects of entertainment, with sports getting it the worse. As Jason Whitlock explains, that wasn't an accident.
The military fly-overs, the national anthem before the game, and all of that — the NFL tried to make you feel like the most patriotic thing you could do on a Sunday is go to church and watch football.
Drink a lot of beer too. Don't forget about drinking beer. Beer and football go together like Democrats and killing jobs to appease left-wing activists. That's a joke, Facebook. A humorous figure of speech. Everyone knows you can't literally kill a job.
It was a brilliant business strategy that catapulted football to where it's America's favorite pastime. Then China and our competitors figured out, if you really want to influence American culture, you have to get into the sports world.
It's maddening if you either disagree with leftists or just want to enjoy a game without the social commentary. That's doesn't make it any less effective or smart policy. It's why Andrew Breitbart always said politics is downstream from culture. It's why Donald Trump wanted to save college football and had a summit with his fellow president. It's also why blue checkmarks trend on Twitter for idiotic nuggets like this.
protected tweets, but the List comes for all, @peanutpollino.
Yes, I would like to live in a world where everything in our culture is not politicized. Especially sports, which is where I go to get away from politics. But that's not the world we live in. The left figured that out early on. The right, while making gains over the past few years, still has catching up to do.
