Brodigan - May 26, 2020 at 08:34AM
I'm jealous of Texas reopening. I mean, it's still an uglyAF place to live. But unlike New York, people there are actually allowed to get back to work and do things like enjoy life. To be fair, Texas has fewer total statewide COVID-19 deaths than Andrew Cuomo found one day in just the nursing homes. So there's no reason for Texas to let the New York City virus dictate how Texas operates. Texas is gonna Texas, is what I'm saying. Texas is gonna Texas so hard.
While I'm jealous of Texas, failure at life and all the other things Beto O'Rourke seems jealous his governor isn't keeping things shut down. Gov. Abbott better sit down for this, because Beto issued a sternly worded tweet.
If you listen closely, you can hear Beto dropping a heavily market-tested cuss word. While both Cruz and Crenshaw do this to him:
Poor Beto. A failure at running for Senate. A failure at running for president. A failure at running from the cops. Now, he's a failure at Twitter too. He should go out for a drink to drown his sorrows. Which he's allowed to do in Texas again. Just someone take the keys to his car first.
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