Brodigan - February 03, 2022 at 11:59AM
The cable news community was rocked to its very core on Wednesday. CNN honcho Jeff Zucker resigned once it became known--to the public, that is--that he was shagging his subordinate Allison Gollust. The consensual love affair was an open secret among the content creators at CNN. Gollust used to work for Andrew Cuomo. The news about Zucker started to leak when Andy's idiot brother Chris was set to go scorched Earth over CNN firing him. It's a story full of scumbags and garbage people, and one more might get involved: CNN's genderless potato head Brian Stelter. CNN insiders tell The Daily Mail that Stelter needs to be the next one to go.
Stelter, who looks like if Stewie from "Family Guy" binged on an entire pallet of Girl Scout cookies, is supposed to be CNN's "media reporter." That's why one insider says they need to fire Spudly: "He is allegedly our top media reporter - yet he failed to report on the scoop that everyone in the office knew. And if he wants to say he didn't know, he is truly terrible at his job."
Brian Stelter is terrible at life, but in his defense, he can't be expected to know about this unless he saw it on Fox News first. When Stelter got around to blogging about it, he called Zucker an "influential executive" who reshaped the "the iconic network." Journalisming!
Another insider said Stelter should start looking for a new job: "He's been Jeff Zucker's water boy for years ." That would explain the influential executive part. The insider goes on to say, "He's been sitting on his moral high horse doing Jeff's bidding and ripping Fox and every other media outlet that Jeff tells him to while his ratings crash and burn. Where was he on the biggest story at his own network after chastising everyone else?"
I'm guessing Stelter was busy devouring his second breakfast cheesecake. That's the whole cheesecake he eats every morning after his main breakfast cheesecake, kinda like a cheesecake dessert. Then Stelter gets the lotion and tissues and watches Fox News, feeling bad about himself that Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity won't play with him. Had Stelter been good at his job, it may have prevented him from having The Washington Post scoop him on another story.
Remember the Andrew Cuomo/Chris Cuomo lovefest that CNN shredded its last remaining bit of journalistic integrity over? It was the brainchild of Zucker and Gollust. Zuckust for short.
It's wishful thinking, but I can't imagine CNN actually firing Brian Stelter. CNN only fires people if there is sex or minors involved. Jeffrey Toobin fapping himself didn't even count, and he kept his job. Stelter should be safe, for now.
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from Steven Crowder Says
