Tuesday, March 31, 2020

SEATTLE: Anti-Abortion Nutcase Screams Bloody Murder to ‘Relax’

SEATTLE: Anti-Abortion Nutcase Screams Bloody Murder to ‘Relax’
Courtney Kirchoff - March 31, 2020 at 10:56AM

At first I had to make sure I didn’t know this chick. Thankfully I don’t know this chick. But she does seem to be sliding right into a liberal archetype that’s becoming more common with each passing year: the screaming whackadoodle. That’s not the proper leftist wildlife classification, but I’m going with it. You will too after observing this feminist in Seattle with the trademark anti-mating call: a glass-shattering screech. She was upset a Christian type was out and about during the stay-at-home order to speak out against abortion. No one tell her that she was also violating the order.

Full video of the exchange is here.

She finds it relaxing to enter the nightmares of all who hear her banshee shriek. Personally I like to picture myself sipping Pinot Grigio while submerged in a luxurious soaking tub overlooking some kind of mountainous or Puget Sound view. I have to picture myself since I don’t actually have a luxurious soaking tub or some kind of view, but I do have an imagination. We all have to get by with what we’ve got. With that imagination, I have to guess that our lady of the purple hair and fun pants just cannot understand how someone would dare stand on a street corner in Seattle, in what appears to be known as a “gayborhood” (cute) talking about the evils of abortion. But abortion is evil no matter what time, what location, or what color a city has painted a crosswalk. Abortion is evil during the day, after curfew, or if you use a bowl as a haircut template.

The only people who are actually screaming about abortion are unborn children having their limbs torn off. Their screams can’t be heard. They scream not because they find it relaxing, but because it is the natural human response to distress. But unlike the She-Screamer above, the screams of unborn children are the last silent sounds those poor souls will ever make.

That is why some people buck a governor’s request to stay at home to discuss the evils of abortion, which obey no such orders.

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James O’Keefe Visits COVID-19 Testing Center, Talks to People on Frontlines

James O’Keefe Visits COVID-19 Testing Center, Talks to People on Frontlines
Courtney Kirchoff - March 31, 2020 at 09:49AM

Remember how we used to not trust everything media said because they usually have a narrative? We’re talking here about the same media which took Jussie Smollett’s side, insisted Nick Sandmann was a white supremacist, and Donald Trump a Russian agent. Now the media promises COVID-19 is as serious as they’re telling us it is. But James O’Keefe, who’s been consistently suspicious of the media, got a feeling that maybe media was possibly overhyping the situation, since they’re the media. Overhype is just what they do on days that end in Y. He visited a COVID-19 testing center to talk to the people on the front lines and found that, sure, media could be overblowing this flu.

Most of the people who come through the center had a cough and that’s it. Other people are affected more seriously.

So… like the flu.

We get seasonal flus every year. Some people get flu shots because we know a flu or two is going to come through and give us all the “ahhh-chooos!” Yes, I’m trying to make light. I think we all need to stop taking this thing so damn seriously and have some perspective here.

Every year people die from flu complications. Usually those with underlying health conditions or just being a few years too old and their immune systems just can’t take it anymore. Annual deaths from the flu range from 20,000 a year (in the United States alone) to as high as 61,000 a year. In the United States alone. I didn’t pull those numbers out of my booty hole, those are direct from the CDC, accessible to anyone with an internet connection. Yet media isn’t broadcasting those numbers and too few people are seeking them out.

Media has done a great job (as usual) highlighting the victims of this illness, pulling at our heart strings as many of us do care about people living or dying. But media seems to be steadfastly ignoring people who are filing for unemployment or losing their businesses due to this shutdown over a flu. Right now someone is screaming at me for even calling it a flu. But people are losing their livelihoods, they’re losing their ability to provide for their families. Their stories also matter and we need to hear them out.

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Joe Biden Needs People to Remember Him, So He’s Launching a Podcast

Joe Biden Needs People to Remember Him, So He’s Launching a Podcast
Brodigan - March 31, 2020 at 09:02AM
podcast

SOURCE: Gage Skidmore

Joe Biden. Remember that guy? He was running for president. Now he’s desperate for anyone to still be paying attention to him (see Watch Joe Biden’s Heart Break Over Trump’s Approval Ratings and Joe Biden Emerged from Hiding … Confused and with a Cough). It’s proving difficult to get people to remember who he is, not because of the pandemic but because he barely remembers who he is himself half the time. So as a desperate plea for relevancy, Biden is launching his own podcast.

In his latest attempt to reach American voters when most normal campaign methods are impossible, the former vice president has launched a podcast. NBC News reports that Biden’s new Here’s the Deal show will see him chatting to “national top experts” to provide a “voice of clarity during uncertain times.”

He said in his first show: “I’m recording this podcast to connect with all of you instead of traveling across the country as I have been doing most of the last year. … It’s just not worth it to go out there and take a chance of getting sick and further spreading the virus.”

I’m sure the tens of people anxious to see Biden at a Benihana are disappointed about that too. But honestly, a podcast is probably best for Biden. He doesn’t do well live, in front of a camera. With a podcast, his handlers can edit it to make him sound less senile. Maybe throw a little autotune onto it too. You know, just to appeal to the youths.

I’m all curious about who the audience is for a Biden podcast. “Are you entertained by staring at the wall, looking at all those weird dots your eyes make when you stare long enough? Then do WE have the podcast for you!”

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The My Pillow Guy Is Making Surgical Masks … and the Media Is PISSED?!

The My Pillow Guy Is Making Surgical Masks … and the Media Is PISSED?!
Brodigan - March 31, 2020 at 08:40AM

Liberals have been crying for Donald Trump to use the Defense Production Act (DPA). This is where the government demands that private companies stop what they’re doing and make things for a crisis, like, say, the coronavirus pandemic (see Bill de Blasio Gets Called Out for Being a Failure in Handling Coronavirus [VIDEO] and Dr. Birx Says Initial Doom and Gloom COVID-19 Predictions Don’t Reflect Reality). Trump, instead of enforcing the DPA, has been working WITH private industry, encouraging companies to join the cause instead of demanding it by federal decree. One of the many who have stepped up is Mike Lindell, aka the My Pillow guy.

This, you would think, is a good thing. Private companies are “doing their civic duty.” Every day we hear that we need supplies. The My Pillow guy is repurposing his factories to help supply that need. But here’s how the liberal media reported on it yesterday. Remember, these are the same people who are shocked to find out that so many Americans hate their entire industry and think they all suck at life.

Let me make sure I get this straight. Donald Trump should use the power of the federal government to force private companies to do something. Trump partners with them instead. CEO and other millionaires and billionaires step up to help produce the equipment we need. The media, in turn, mocks Trump and the CEOs for doing so.

Remember, the national press is NOT the enemy of the people. But businesses are?

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Monday, March 30, 2020

Screw COVID-19: Start your day with ‘Good Morning with Mug Club’

Screw COVID-19: Start your day with ‘Good Morning with Mug Club’
Tarah Price - March 30, 2020 at 07:42PM

Look, COVID-19 isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. If you are looking for ways to fill the time, look no further. The Louder with Crowder team is here to help! Steven is stepping up to the task of helping Americans get through the “Great Quarantine of 2020” by providing free content on his YouTube channel to fill the time.

Monday, Crowder premiered episode one of “Good Morning Mug Club.” That’s right! You can start your day in quarantine with Steven and his crew every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 10 AM EST on YouTube.

But wait, there’s more. Steven will be back for 9 PM show Monday – Wednesday, and you can still catch Crowder’s 8 PM Live stream every Thursday.

Coming soon: Have you ever wanted to live chat with Steven and his team? You can realize that dream by subscribing to BlazeTV. Use promo code QUARANTINE and get the best deal Crowder has ever offered when you sign up for Mug Club.

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John Krasinski Reunites with Steve Carell to Talk ‘The Office’ and it’s Pure Internet Magic

John Krasinski Reunites with Steve Carell to Talk ‘The Office’ and it’s Pure Internet Magic
Courtney Kirchoff - March 30, 2020 at 06:00PM

If you’re not a fan of The Office then we really need to talk about what you did wrong in your life to make you the way that you are. But if you are a fan of The Office, then congratulations, for John Krasinski and Steve Carell reunited for a fun Skype call during John’s first episode of “Some Good News” on YouTube. Today happens to mark the 15th anniversary of The Office, and since I’m sick and tired of news about a virus, I’m writing about this. For that I am not sorry and you shouldn’t be either. This video is timestamped to get right to Steve Carell, but obviously you can scrub to the beginning for the full episode.

Again I must say, if you haven’t seen The Office, get your priorities straight. Good lord in heaven. The show is less of a mockumentary and more of what life in an office environment actually is. I’ve told full-time newbies to absolutely watch the show in order to understand the real working world. Even the phones are real. We all know a Michael and wish we all knew a Jim. Dwight is only a caricature if you really wish him to be.

Now sure, this video has nothing to do with the news of today. That’s rather the point. Wherever you stand on this coronavirus debacle, remember to have a good laugh whenever you can, even if it’s at the expense of a show from a bygone era where we didn’t take ourselves as seriously as we seem to now. Also check out Norm Macdonald Kills with Eight Minutes of Coronavirus Jokes [VIDEO].

Also… you guys remember how drag queens would dance for kids? Seems like ages ago!

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Bill de Blasio Gets Called Out for Being a Failure in Handling Coronavirus [VIDEO]

Bill de Blasio Gets Called Out for Being a Failure in Handling Coronavirus [VIDEO]
Brodigan - March 30, 2020 at 12:01PM

Democrats have made it clear their plan for attacking Donald Trump this week is that he didn’t take the Wuhan (got you all in check) virus seriously enough at first cough. The polls aren’t working in their favor (see New Poll Says Americans Trust Trump More Than the Media on Coronavirus and Washington Post Trails Trump by 16 Percent in Public Approval of Coronavirus Response), so they need to think of something, especially something that hides their own failures. Like when it comes to Bill de Blasio.

De Blasio is mayor of New York City, a position that is widely considered to be the second-most important job in America BEHIND being the president. The same New York City that for the second time in our lifetimes finds itself at ground zero for a national crisis. Jake Tapper took this insufferable douche on a brief tour through his “leadership” early on.

In de Blasio’s defense, he wasn’t the only New York City official who dropped the ball, as this thread illustrates. The mayor claims that now isn’t the time to place blame. Which, a) I’ll remember that the next time he attacks the president, and b) not even the mainstream media is buying as an excuse coming out of his commie mouth.

We have two options. Option one is to NOT attack people and instead deal with the crisis at hand. Option two is to just throw blame around. Obviously, we’re going with option two, which, while not the most helpful response, is what it is. We like to throw shit at each other. But if Democrats are going to attack the president — the same Democrats who attacked him months ago when he DID act by banning travel from China — I’ve got a pile of poop and list of people and organizations to throw it at as well. Standing in the front of the line is Bill de Blasio.

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Norm Macdonald Wrote a Song About the Chinese Eating Bats

Norm Macdonald Wrote a Song About the Chinese Eating Bats
Brodigan - March 30, 2020 at 08:33AM

Thank God for celebrities. As the world is in the current situation  we’re in, celebrities are just as bored and just as stir-crazy as anyone else. Being the magnanimous people that they are, they are blessing us with their talents via social media, though some are better at it than others (see It’s Gonna Be Okay, America. Neil Diamond Is Singing a Coronavirus Song [VIDEO] and If You Weren’t Sick Before, Here’s a Montage of Celebrities Singing ‘Imagine’). Norm Macdonald clearly falls into the former group and dropped a new song on us. About eating bats.

There’s a meme I’ve seen going around the Facebook and the Instagram. It goes something like “Never doubt that one person can’t change the world. A Chinese guy did by eating a bat.” As Norm points out in the song, who am I to question whether a bat is delicious or not? It could be an excellent source of protein. Maybe a bat’s breast meat helps improve your hearing. Remember, all cultures are equal.

We’ve reached this point in quarantine: Wondering what bat tastes like. Either way, Norm is king. Plus he basically said nuts to political correctness. Funny is funny.

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Saturday, March 28, 2020

Weekly Podcast - SCREW COVID! FREE MONTH OF #MUGCLUBQUARANTINE



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SCREW COVID! FREE MONTH OF #MUGCLUBQUARANTINE
Steven sits down with the crew tonight to review an important CDC announcement, send condolences to Prince Charles, and discuss the hottest games to come out of San Francisco in the latest 7+1. The meat segment reviews how the polls, Joe Biden's incompetence, and the Dems' efforts to block relief efforts are going to hand Trump the 2020 victory. Stu sits in third chair.
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Watch Joe Biden’s Heart Break Over Trump’s Approval Ratings [VIDEO]

Watch Joe Biden’s Heart Break Over Trump’s Approval Ratings [VIDEO]

Posted: Thu, 26 Mar 2020 13:10:54 +0000
Bless his heart, Joe Biden is doing his best to stay relevant during PandemicMania. He’s failing miserably at it (see Joe Biden Emerged from Hiding … Confused and with a Cough [VIDEO] and New Poll Says Americans Trust Trump More Than the Media on Coronavirus). But the plucky septuagenarian is trying as hard as he can. Just, my dude, a little advice? Know your opponent’s approval ratings BEFORE holding a press conference. This is just lousy staff work, mixed with a few dashes of senility.

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SCREW COVID! FREE MONTH OF #MUGCLUBQUARANTINE

SCREW COVID! FREE MONTH OF #MUGCLUBQUARANTINE
Courtney Kirchoff - March 27, 2020 at 11:44PM
Steven sits down with the crew tonight to review an important CDC announcement, send condolences to Prince Charles, and discuss the hottest games to come out of San Francisco in the latest 7+1. The meat segment reviews how the polls, Joe Biden’s incompetence, and the Dems’ efforts to block relief efforts are going to hand Trump the 2020 victory. Stu sits in third chair.
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Have YOU Tried Black Rifle Coffee? (Sponsored)

Have YOU Tried Black Rifle Coffee? (Sponsored)
Courtney Kirchoff - March 27, 2020 at 08:37PM

There was a time before coffee for all of us. It was a dark time. A time of uncertainty. A time when we’d get up in the morning and wonder why. Not why we got up, just why anything. But for me, on one gray Seattle morning I found myself standing before a shelf of coffee machines with a mission long overdue: become a coffee drinker, become better, and no longer wonder why.
Ten caffeinated years later, I now drink most of my water first filtered through arabica. He or she who says there’s such a thing as “too much” coffee is a heathen. In my opinion, obviously. If you’re the same way, if you are a sane person who knows coffee is to understanding as breath is to life, then let me tell you a little more about Black Rifle Coffee.
Yes, my fellow espresso (drip, pour-over, French-press or however you like it) addicts, this here is a sponsored post. But if we want to be real, my life is sponsored by coffee. If you’ve read this far, you’re probably nodding in agreement. Pour another hot cup, my fellow coffee compatriots. It’s morning somewhere.
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CONNED? Doctor Suggests COVID-19 Could be LESS Deadly Than Seasonal Flu

CONNED? Doctor Suggests COVID-19 Could be LESS Deadly Than Seasonal Flu
Courtney Kirchoff - March 27, 2020 at 10:09AM
Where are you in the COVID-19 panic cycle? Because I’m firmly in the RAGE stage of this “pandemic.” The more we find out about this disease, the more we find out it’s really not that deadly at all. If you’re still worried about the virus and not the fallout from our reaction to it, listen to Doctor Jayanta Bhattacharya on the Ben Shapiro Show explaining how the coronavirus might actually be LESS fatal than the common flu. You read that right. Less fatal.

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Idiot Coughs on Food ON PURPOSE, Costs Supermarket $35,000 in Groceries

Idiot Coughs on Food ON PURPOSE, Costs Supermarket $35,000 in Groceries
Brodigan - March 27, 2020 at 09:00AM

SOURCE: Facebook
Supermarket workers are the unsung heroes as we deal with this pandemic. No, not celebrities (see If You Weren’t Sick Before, Here’s a Montage of Celebrities Singing ‘Imagine’ and Norm Macdonald DESTROYS That Horrible Celebrity “Imagine” Singalong). It’s the people stocking and selling us groceries. You don’t get to hoard toilet paper if they aren’t putting it on the shelves. My mom is in one or more of the at-risk groups, so I’m the one who goes out shopping. I see these workers, many of them kids, in masks and gloves or standing behind a protective shield at the register, at least twice a week. My heart goes out to them.
So had I seen someone purposely coughing on food, as happened at this local supermarket, the cops would be called. Only they’d be arresting me after beating the shit out of this person with their own shoes.

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Washington Post Trails Trump by 16 Percent in Public Approval of Coronavirus Response

Washington Post Trails Trump by 16 Percent in Public Approval of Coronavirus Response
Brodigan - March 27, 2020 at 08:31AM
The American people generally approve of how the country is handling the coronavirus response. There’s been some silliness (see Norm Macdonald DESTROYS That Horrible Celebrity “Imagine” Singalong and Apparently Blowing a Hair Dryer Up Your Nose DOESN’T Kill the Coronavirus). But the country as a whole tends to feel everyone is doing the best they can in a shitty situation.
Everyone, except for one group. The only group whose approval is actually under water, as a matter of fact.
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Dr. Birx Says Initial Doom and Gloom COVID-19 Predictions Don’t Reflect Reality

Dr. Birx Says Initial Doom and Gloom COVID-19 Predictions Don’t Reflect Reality
Courtney Kirchoff - March 26, 2020 at 10:34PM
As we learn more about the WuHuFlu, we’re learning it’s for sure more flu than plague, more bad cough than contagion, more overblown hype that probably didn’t warrant shutting down the global economy. Yeah, yeah, I’ve pounded this point pretty hard lately but that’s only because people’s lives have been severely damaged over an illness that isn’t panning out the way the pandemic hyper-ventilators had guessed. That’s right, the initial model this entire fiasco was based upon just got revised. Dr. Birx explained what this means in today’s coronavirus press conference.

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Norm Macdonald DESTROYS That Horrible Celebrity “Imagine” Singalong

Norm Macdonald DESTROYS That Horrible Celebrity “Imagine” Singalong
Brodigan - March 26, 2020 at 04:16PM
Famous people are cooped up in their houses the same as us normal folks. Some are being useful. If you’re a country music fan, the Kung flu quarantine is the best thing to ever happen. Every day, artists are just turning on Instagram and singing a few songs for people. Or challenging each other to the #DeepCutsChallenge (highlighted by Luke Combs covering my favorite Stapleton song). Other celebs can’t even…um, even (see And Then Madonna Talks About the Coronavirus from Her Bathtub and Actor Josh Gad Has a Meltdown on Instagram Over Social Distancing [VIDEO]). Then, of course, you had that horrific, universally panned all-star rendition of “Imagine.” Everyone had their own reasons for wanting to stab their ears with Q-tips over it. Norm Macdonald had one specific reason that bothered him.
These people couldn’t think of a more positive song? Sing Monty Python’s “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.” Or Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer.” Or Weird Al Yankovic’s “Dare to Be Stupid.” There have been eleventy million songs written over the past few decades. More uplifting than telling people who are afraid of choking to death because of a respiratory virus “imagine there’s no heaven.”
It’s remarkable how all these people pretend to be normal people on the regular in movies and TV shows. But none of them have the first clue who normal people actually are.

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ENOUGH: The COVID-19 Panic is Insane and Destroying Our Way of Life!

ENOUGH: The COVID-19 Panic is Insane and Destroying Our Way of Life!
Courtney Kirchoff - March 26, 2020 at 10:32AM
Viral image courtesy of CDC
Trigger-warning: unfiltered, raw thoughts below which are entirely mine and do not represent any company or personality other than my own. Okay? Okay.
Simple solution for people terrified of getting a flu that spreads because symptoms are so mild, people aren’t even aware they’re sick: YOU stay at home, YOU quarantine yourself and YOU take personal responsibility for your own health. The rest of us need to get back to our lives, which we should not have abandoned out of “an abundance of caution” all because a few buzz phrases and social media logos were created which said we must all do our part to “flatten the curve” for a virus which, the more we learn about it, isn’t living up to the doom and gloom hype media promised it would.
Don’t believe me? Fine. Go do some research all on your own into past viruses that you were never aware of because flu season is a thing. Too many people have swallowed too many talking points from media. Maybe you’re amongst them. Do us all a favor and go find some answers that aren’t dolled out by the same people who hope every hurricane season will bring death and destruction for the sake of ratings.
For example, do you know how many people died in 2019 from the flu? 2018? 2017? No? But you know how many have been taken out by the coronavirus in 2020? Interesting!
Related: Dr. Drew Doubles Down on Blaming Media for the Wuhan Virus Panic [VIDEO].
I’m sorry some people with pre-existing conditions and those who are way up in age are perishing from this virus. But people with pre-existing conditions and those who are way up there in age perish every year from viruses, pneumonia, slips, falls, and any other number of ways the Earth uses to ensure not a single person born lives forever.
Callous?

People are losing their way of life over this pathetic illness and too many people are too afraid to speak up and confront the stampeding herd. COVID-19 panickers are following the global warming alarmism playbook to a tee. If you (or in this case, me) dare suggest that maybe COVID-19 really isn’t all that bad, the bipartisan mob douses their pitchforks in gas, lights those babies up, and guns for you.
THIS PANDEMIC IS THE WORST. MILLIONS WILL PERISH. HOW DARE YOU NOT PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCING BY SHELTERING IN PLACE IN ORDER TO FLATTEN THE CURVE! I NEED THIS CRISIS TO FEEL ALIVE BECAUSE MY LIFE IS A FIRST-WORLD, LUKE-WARM PUDDLE OF MEDIOCRITY!
Yes, usually in all caps. I added the last bit just to peeve off the boring who’re holding this crisis close to their hearts.
For the record, if you’re screaming or all caps typing at me right now about how I’m a terrible person for thinking maybe we shouldn’t throw out our entire way of life all because of a bad cough which will affect a tiny percent of our population who are always affected every flu season, you can kiss my glorious, back-squatting badunkadunk. But I do apologize for that run-on sentence. Also: These 3 Videos Show How Susceptible People Are to Herd Mentality.
If you want to “shelter in place” in order to “flatten the curve” because buzz phrases make you feel like you’re a part of something larger than yourself, you go right on ahead. I’m so tickled that watching a Trojan horse roll in inspires you to redecorate your home. Though I am disappointed so many conservative “thought leaders” have joined you in trying to feng shei their dwellings to accommodate the wooden horse.


It’s clear to me a number of you will refuse to have your minds changed, since you’re so committed to feeling like you’re making a difference by staying at home in your comfy clothes. Aren’t you just a hero. Yeah, this column isn’t for you… exactly. Though I did need you to read what many of us think about you.
No, this rage column is for you sane people who think this entire “crisis” is stupid and have from the start. You are not alone. It’s one thing to practice basic hygiene which we all should anyway. It’s another thing to shut down the world. What gives me faith is having met so many of you who also see the problem with this pandemic. The sane — those who don’t fall in line with the herd — are, as it turns out, some of the best people I’ve met. Jovial, kind, fun and independent. Rock on, my rebels, I raise my toilet paper in your honor.
Yes, this entire “crisis” is stupid. You are not the only one who thinks so. You are not a terrible person for feeling sad or angry to see your life disintegrating before you while virtue signaling plebes hop on social media to say they’re fine with sacrificing in order to flatten the curve.
Isn’t it amazing what a little semantic polishing will do to people?

But we’re so far in it now, I think too many people are afraid to admit maybe they went along with a mistake. So rather than saying “Oh, well, morgues aren’t filling up, the ‘facts’ are a little fluid, so maybe we should calm our flapping mammaries and get back to living” they’re doubling down.
But enough is enough. I get it, we care about our families and don’t want them to get sick and die. Sure. Fine. I don’t either. But at what cost? We take life risks every single day. This flu is so mild by comparison to other flus. It isn’t taking out people from all walks of life, just the terribly old and terribly sick. Kids, teens, adults, older adults, and adults who get mad when you say they’re old, they’re all fine. The WuHuFlu is only dangerous for a group of people who can, dare I say it again, QUARANTINE THEMSELVES!
Crazy pills
Jesus, now I’m all caps yelling. You see what some of you people have reduced me to?
The worst thing people will say to me about this column is that I’m heartless. Go ahead and see if I give a tiny rat’s ass. I care about our way of life as Americans. I care about Americans losing their businesses and livelihoods they’ve built up for years, all to see it come crashing down for what? To appease the mob who’ve bought the media and government hype hook, line and sinker and are holed up in their houses with pallets of toilet paper?
I’ll risk it.
Our quality of life matters. Our jobs matter. Our community matters. I’m sorry, two to six weeks, or 18 months (if you’re in media and loooooove disaster) of this “sheltering in place” crap is beyond dangerous to how we live as a people.
It has to stop. Now.
~ Written by Courtney Kirchoff
P. S. After hearing doctors talk about the kung flu, I’m 99.9 percent sure I’ve already had it. You may have too. And there you sit, living. 

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Apparently Blowing a Hair Dryer Up Your Nose DOESN’T Kill the Coronavirus

Apparently Blowing a Hair Dryer Up Your Nose DOESN’T Kill the Coronavirus
Brodigan - March 26, 2020 at 08:31AM
SOURCE: Your Best Digs
My mom is just barely a Boomer. She’s at the older end, closer to the Greatest Generation side. But she still has some boom qualities, like when we play “is this true” about random things she sees on the Facebook. Generally when she asks “is this true?” I tell her no without even finding out what she’s talking about. Basically, there’s a lot of stupid shit shared on social media, made even worse by the coronavirus (see OPINION: Coronavirus Panic is a Trojan Horse for Socialism and And Then Madonna Talks About the Coronavirus from Her Bathtub). Everyone has the “truth” about curing the virus. My personal favorite is blowing a hair dryer up your nose, which, of course, involves a Florida man.
Okeechobee County Commissioner Bryant Culpepper said during an emergency session on Friday that he saw a video that’s been circulating online claiming that the nasal passages are cool but if you can heat them up enough, “the virus just falls apart and disintegrates. So you hold a blow dryer in front of your face and you inhale with your nose and it kills all the viruses in your nose,” Culpepper said. “That sounds like a simplified way of doing things but sometimes the cures for some of the diseases are very simple.”
According to the Associated Press, medical professionals have spoken out against the six-minute video circulating online inviting others to blow a hair dryer up their nose.
You know what I hear also works? Taking a handful of ibuprofen, crushing it up into a fine powder, and then inserting it up your rectum. It helps the active ingredients enter your bloodstream faster.
Another home remedy is to smoke a banana. Cut off the stem. Light the other end of it. And smoke away. Potassium is a natural coronavirus fighter.
Also, ladies, stop wearing makeup. Our brave celebrities are already leading the way. I’m not sure if this helps fight the coronavirus. I just think you’re all beautiful just the way you are.
Bottom line, if you see something on the internet that is too stupid to be true, that’s because it is in fact too stupid to be true. So if you were planning on blowing a hair dryer up your nose, please don’t do that.
Also, ingesting fish tank cleaner is a bad idea too.

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from Steven Crowder Says
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Watch Joe Biden’s Heart Break Over Trump’s Approval Ratings [VIDEO]

Watch Joe Biden’s Heart Break Over Trump’s Approval Ratings [VIDEO]
Brodigan - March 26, 2020 at 08:10AM
Bless his heart, Joe Biden is doing his best to stay relevant during PandemicMania. He’s failing miserably at it (see Joe Biden Emerged from Hiding … Confused and with a Cough [VIDEO] and New Poll Says Americans Trust Trump More Than the Media on Coronavirus). But the plucky septuagenarian is trying as hard as he can. Just, my dude, a little advice? Know your opponent’s approval ratings BEFORE holding a press conference. This is just lousy staff work, mixed with a few dashes of senility.
SMOKIN’ JOE BIDEN: The president’s numbers with the public have gone up in handling this crisis, but they haven’t gone up in terms of his presidency.
RANDOM REPORTER: Gallup did show he is now at 49% job approval, which is a reversal from a few weeks ago …
SMOKIN’ JOE BIDEN: …
the simpsons
Biden has defied gravity in the polls. He’s defied it against his Democrat opponents. He’s even still defying it against Trump in the head-to-head polls. The man has no money. No campaign. No recollection of what he had for breakfast. Yet has stayed competitive for the last two years based on people saying, “Oh, I remember him. I don’t hate him as much as I do everyone else.”
Eventually, the people all realize the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes. Or in Biden’s case, he forgot to put them on. Because he forgot about all the video cameras that are now in his living room.

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from Steven Crowder Says
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